dinner @ 8

•Saturday, 19 December 2009 • 1 Comment

A few nights ago, Wednesday to be exact, i hosted dinner for a few good friends, at our house, for the very first time.  i was excited. even before the barefoot contessa came about in the tube,  i’ve played 3pm tea with raggedy ann and andy many many times.  it was something that i’ve wanted to do for so long. i just didn’t have “what it takes” to make this happen. but many many years after, i found myself setting a date and inviting my girlfriends over for a quiet christmas dinner. napa-subo ako because i wasn’t able to give them a ‘wrapped’ present during our school’s christmas party and gift giving.  ack!  oh well, i thought. isipin mo nalang, dream come true mo ito! i had the picture in my mind. the dinnerware, the candles, the music, the menu, the table set up…..there’s just one problem, i still do not have everything that it takes to make it happen. augh. and being the Obsessive Compulsive that i am (or so, i was told), this was upsetting.  I had to make do with what as available. applied the wedding quote : of Something old;something new, something borrowed, something…blue? tsk.  but it’s already tuesday! grrr. make do, make do, it’ll be okay. i tell myself.

so the day came. i asked alexis to light the candles as 3 of the 7 came. 7:10 PM.  i was in and out of the kitchen, helping the chef. then the other 2 came. i asked dillan to bring the speakers down. in and out of the kitchen again. finally, the last of the dishes was served. said grace and thanksgiving then satisfied our palettes al fresco. 8 o’clock.  hours and hours down the line, plates were brought for seconds and thirds, glasses were refilled, laughter rung and conversation carried on.  it was deep into the chilly night and the survey question was brought up.

What is your best and worst of 2009 and what do you look forward to 2010?

deep in thought as expected. but shared with heart and soul. we were all moved.

i just had to add:

What then do you wish for each one, here.

we laughed, teared up and applauded each other. it was 2 AM. (and it was time to go)

as i was cleaning up and right before i blew the last candle out, i sat down and recalled the night that was. the chef fixing up a sumptuous dinner in under 2 hours, the children involved in the welcoming party, the cool december breeze,  mix matched dinnerware,  the lack of sparkling wine, tiny bits of insects flying around once in a while and everything else that went along with it. tsk. it wasn’t what i had in mind. it was definitely far better.

so, Ina Garten, move over.

crossroads

•Thursday, 3 December 2009 • 1 Comment

Something always brings me back to you, it never takes too long.

No matter what I say or do, I still feel you here til the moment i’m gone.

You hold me without touch, you keep me without chains

I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your rain.

Set me free, leave me be, I don’t wanna fall another moment into your gravity.

Here i am, and i stand so tall just the way i’m supposed to be

you’re on to me, all over me.

You loved me ’cause i’m fragile, and i thought that i was strong

You touched me for a little while, and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees,

as i try to make you see

that you’re everything i think i need

here on the ground.

‘Cause you’re neither friend nor foe

though i can’t seem to let you go

the one thing that i still know is that you’re keeping me down……..

why do you magnify yourself at this time?

gravity/sara bareilles


metamorphosis

•Tuesday, 1 December 2009 • Leave a Comment

december. the last month of the year. and so again, i size the year that has been. i let out a heavy heavy sigh. close my eyes. and let the tears flow. my most colorful year by far, 2009. my daughter and i claimed it to be ours, early on. it was my birthday then. how fitting. and MINE, it really has been.  in the next 30 days, i will continue to declare so and the days after that.

my life has begun.

it has finally begun.

i have learned that…

•Monday, 23 November 2009 • Leave a Comment

being with a crowd of people you don’t know can be such a comfort.

sarcasm is a cheap  shot at being smart.

relationships only have 2 options, to keep or not to keep.

marriage is designed for two. not one and definitely not three.

when a crime is being committed right in front of you, keeping quiet makes you an accomplice.

arrogance is a sure ticket to a hard, hard fall.

you should never run on empty. sooner or later you’ll be up for an overhaul.

being selfish is the best thing you can do for others.

setting boundaries is a wise investment.

there is a thin line between assertiveness and aggressiveness.

mistresses (and their male counterparts) always have something BIG to offer. but that’s all there is to it.

indeed, there is a time for everything. even revenge.

word of the day

•Saturday, 14 November 2009 • Leave a Comment

as-sert

[uh-surt]

-verb

1. to state with assurance, confidence, or force; state strongly or positively

2. to maintain or defend (claims, rights, etc.)

3. to state as having existence

i breathe.

the 6th week

•Sunday, 4 October 2009 • Leave a Comment

right on cue! i was told. now the rest is all for the stabilization.

connection. it has to be. mind and heart has to agree. otherwise, it’s all shams. geez. talk about processing. it’s hard work!! especially if one has mastered to breathe denial of one or the other. now it’s all learning and unlearning.

shhh….i’m listening.

think again

•Thursday, 6 August 2009 • Leave a Comment

when does one decides to make things right?

when does one choose to do what is right?

shouldn’t it be, when the ones you love most, hurt?

shouldn’t it be when the ones you love most , put their lives at risk?

shouldn’t it be when the ones you love most already say they hate you for hurting them?

but then perhaps, you don’t really love them after all.

sayang lang pala.

LAHAT

•Thursday, 30 July 2009 • Leave a Comment

as i remember

ang nalalabing buhay dito sa daigdig,

ang siyang magpapatunay sa ‘yong maririnig

ang sa diyos ay dalangin ako’y laging tapat,

ano man maging akin, yan ang iyong lahat.

lahat ng paano, lahat ng saan,

lahat ng gaano at ng kailan

ang bawat bakit, may pagkukulang,

ulan at init, may ‘di hadlang.

sa pag-aalinlangan, at pagiging tiyak

sa pangangailangan at biyayang sapat

pagbabakasakali, minsa’y mabibigo

ngunit mananatili, pag sinta’y lalago.

sa karamdaman, at sa lakas

hanggang sa paghinga’y magwawakas

walang patakaran ang aking pagtanggap

iniibig kita, ikaw lahat.

040994



overheard

•Friday, 24 July 2009 • 1 Comment

If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience or does He give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage or does He give him the opportunity to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family  to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings or does He give them opportunities to love each other?

word of the day

•Thursday, 23 July 2009 • Leave a Comment

re-venge

[ri-venj]

- verb

1.     to exact punishment or expiation for a wrong on behalf of, esp. in a vindictive or resentful spirit

2.    to take vengeance for; inflict punishment for; avenge

vengeance is usually wrathful, vindictive, furious.

God promised revenge. not just justice but     R E V E N G E .  Rom. 12:19

so it begins.